Pacing: The Missing Piece in Managing Chronic Pain
If you live with chronic pain, you’ve probably felt caught between two extremes.
Some days, you push through the discomfort, determined to keep up with your usual routine—only to crash later due to fatigue. Other times, the fear of making things worse keeps you from moving at all. It’s a frustrating cycle, and if you’ve been stuck in it, you’re not alone.
The key to breaking free isn’t just about doing more or less—it’s about doing things differently. And that’s where pacing comes in.
At first, pacing might sound like a limitation, like you have to hold yourself back. But really it’s the opposite. It’s a way to do more of what matters with less struggle and more sustainability. It’s about working with your body, not against it.
In this article, I’ll share what it is about human psychology that can make pacing such a struggle. I’ll then look at how you can appeal to and appease these natural parts of our psychology with six pacing skills and six mindset shifts that will help you incorporate the transformational benefits of pacing into your life.
The Inner Conflict That Keeps Us Stuck
What makes pacing so hard? According to Internal Family Systems (IFS) the conflicting parts of our personality are to blame.
IFS is based on the understanding that our personality isn’t just one voice. Instead, it's made up of different "parts" that influence our thoughts and behaviours.
Think of these parts as inner characters—each with their own needs, fears, and motivations. They all want to help protect us from pain, but sometimes they go to extremes, keeping us stuck in unhelpful patterns.
If this sounds strange, just think about how common it is to say, "Part of me wants this, but another part wants something else." This is also why “being yourself" can feel confusing at times—we all have different sides that show up in different situations.
Here are three inner parts that often shape how we approach effort, rest, and balance:
Achieving Parts – These parts push towards goals and productivity. They can be powerful motivators, but when they take over, they drive you to overdo things, ignoring pain signals until it's too late.
Rejuvenating Parts – These parts encourage rest and recovery. They remind you to slow down, but when unbalanced, they might pull you into avoidance or numbing behaviours.
Judging Parts – These act as internal monitors, assessing whether you're doing "enough" or "too much." In balance, they help with discernment, but when extreme, they turn into harsh inner critics that fuel guilt and indecision.
If you’ve ever felt torn between pushing through and holding back, it’s likely these parts have been battling it out. The goal isn’t to silence any of them—it’s to help them work together in balance.
The Six Skills of Pacing: A Smarter Way to Move, Work, and Live
Rather than pushing through pain or avoiding activity altogether, there are six skills I’ve found helpful to focus on with coachees to help them remain efficient without burning out.
1 - Prioritisation
Determine your priorities (or priority!).
Your Judging Parts might tell you that everything is important, making it hard to rest. Learning to prioritise means focusing on what actually matters, rather than feeling like you have to complete everything before you "earn" rest.
Prioritising is a skill. You can work with a coach to help you learn to prioritise, and there are many useful books on the topic, such as David Allen’s Getting Things Done and Graham Allcott’s Productivity Ninja.
2 - Planning
Once you have determined your priorities, break tasks into small, manageable steps.
If your Achieving Parts tend to take the lead, planning can help them work with you rather than against you, giving them small feelings of success throughout the process of a task. Breaking tasks into manageable sections prevents burnout and allows for sustainable progress.
Apps like Trello can help organise, and AI tools can assist in creating plans with bite-sized chunks. For those problems that feel novel, unique to you, and ill-defined, I find it is better to learn planning skills yourself, such as McKinsey’s problem-solving method, or a planning method that appeals to you.
In the context of pacing, this approach helps clarify what tasks need your attention, how much energy they’ll require, and which ones to tackle first, allowing for sustainable action while avoiding overwhelm.
3 - Pausing
Take short, intentional (see next skill) breaks.
If you have an all-or-nothing relationship with activity, taking short regular breaks has been proven to improve your well-being and there is even science to say it boosts productivity. When it comes to chronic pain, taking short, intentional breaks before you need them can also prevent pain flare-ups.
Break software such as RSI Guard, Stretchly, or the Pomodoro Technique can help you incorporate short, intentional breaks into your day. The trick is to find the right length and cadence of break, be it 15 seconds or 15 minutes, that prevents the build-up of tension and strain.
4 - (Re)Plenishing
Learn how to rest.
Your Rejuvenating Parts might struggle with intentional rest, sometimes pulling you into mindless scrolling instead of true restoration.
Knowing how to rest and replenish yourself is about creating space for nourishing, mindful moments to check in with your body and reset. It could be gentle stretching, meditation, or a calming walk outdoors, the very antithesis of doomscrolling that leaves you more drained than refreshed.
5 - Posture
Develop bodily awareness.
Small adjustments in how you sit, stand, and move can prevent unnecessary strain. Your Judging Parts might cause you to hold yourself too rigidly, while your Rejuvenating Parts might lead you to slump or collapse into comfort.
Developing an awareness of a balanced, supported posture—one that allows for natural movement without excess tension—helps you stay engaged without strain, allowing for more easeful activity.
6 - Positioning
Choose the most appropriate positions for different tasks.
This is about proactively deciding how to arrange your environment to reduce strain. For example, using a high stool while cooking or chopping vegetables or standing at your desk for parts of the day.
Adjusting your positioning ensures you aren’t stuck in the same posture for too long, helping you avoid the build-up of pain and tension.
Six Mindset Shifts To Appease All Our Parts And Make Pacing Easier
Pacing isn’t just about what you’re doing—it’s also about how you think about effort, productivity, and recovery.
In my coaching, I’ve found that mindset shifts are often more important than simply doing the right things. You can follow all the pacing principles perfectly—planning, prioritising, pausing—but if your mindset is still rooted in valuing yourself only by what you produce, you’ll likely still feel pressure and strain.
Real change happens when you stop measuring success by how much you do and start focusing on how you do it and the quality of your being during the experience. These mindset shifts help balance your inner parts, making pacing feel natural rather than forced.
1 - (Being) Present
If you're always thinking about what you "should" be doing, you miss out on the present moment.
Exercise: The Psychological Sigh
The quickest way I know back to the present moment is through the physiological sigh—a double inhale followed by a slow exhale that creates the space to expand my awareness from its unhelpful contracted state on any aches and pains and the screen I’m looking at.
Being present reassures your Achieving Parts that meaningful progress is happening now, not just in the future. It also helps Rejuvenating Parts feel more at ease, knowing they don’t need to escape into distractions.
2 - Positive Perspective
Your Achieving Parts often focus on what you haven’t done, leaving you feeling behind.
Instead, celebrate small wins, those micro-moments of progress—maybe with a bit of dancing, singing, or laughter when working from home.
Shift your balance just a bit towards being happy in a way that works for you—by your favourite song, the beauty around you in a pot plant, a nice view you have, or just putting on a half-smile that can help you tip towards feeling that way.
These simple practices help ground you and remind your Achieving Parts that progress can be joyful, not exhausting.
3 - Perseverance
“ Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.”
Progress isn’t about forcing yourself through pain; it's about small, steady steps over time.
In practice, this could mean keeping track of simple daily habits or mood changes followed by a weekly review to show that slow, consistent effort leads to real progress.
4 - Patience
Your Judging Parts might get frustrated when healing feels slow.
You can calm these parts by regularly noticing small improvements, celebrating little milestones, and being kind to yourself when setbacks happen, reminding yourself that healing takes time, isn’t linear, and it’s okay to move at your own pace.
5 - Playfulness – Managing pain doesn’t have to feel heavy or burdensome.
Bringing curiosity and fun into rest or movement can ease your Achieving and Judging Parts, helping them see that healing can also be enjoyable and light-hearted.
6 - Peace – Success isn’t about how much you can "push through" and how much you produce or achieve, but about how well you support yourself in living fully.
Think about focusing less on the outcome and more on the process. Measure your success less on what you’re “achieving” and more on the quality of your being.
When we incorporate these principles and mindset shifts into our daily lives, we can start to appease all aspects of our personalities:
Achieving Parts can still get things done, but in a way that’s more sustainable.
Rejuvenating Parts won’t feel as drained by long, physically demanding tasks.
Judging Parts can relax, knowing you’re working smarter rather than harder.
Finding Your Own Sustainable Rhythm
Pacing isn’t about doing less—it’s about doing things differently. It’s about learning to move, work, and live in ways that feel more natural, more easeful, and more aligned with what actually matters to you.
The key isn’t just resting more or pushing less—it’s about finding a rhythm that supports your health, your productivity, and your ability to enjoy life.
If you’re new to pacing, start by experimenting with just one or two of the P’s. Notice how small adjustments affect your energy and comfort throughout the day.
And if you find yourself struggling with internal resistance—whether it’s the voice telling you to push harder or the one urging you to avoid effort altogether—pause for a moment. See if you can listen to these inner parts with curiosity rather than frustration. Each one is trying to help in its own way. The real magic happens when they learn to work together.
Because in the end, it’s not about forcing yourself to do more. It’s about learning how to do things in a way that truly works for you.
